A Blog Post for My Dad: A Chemistry Joke

My dad, Carl Brabant, was a chemistry teacher at the College de Rosemont for most of his professional life. He retired last year after 35 years (or something like that) of dealing with students that rarely wanted to study. My dad, just like me, is known for having a bit of a mad scientist persona so no wonder he does not always make friends wherever he goes. (just in case you were wondering where this character was coming from) This post has nothing to do with search and I got it from another scientist: Mario Beaudoin from the Nanofabrication Facility at UBC. Thanks Mario! I just felt like posting it because I know he is going to appreciate. That’s for you dad:

A New Addition to Chemistry’s Periodic Table Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neuron, 25 assistant neurons, 88 deputy neurons, and 198 assistant deputy neurons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neurons and deputy neurons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

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Comments

1. It is so true but it is not a chemist responsibility.

   Posted by Carl Brabant on 01/09 at 10:31 PM

2. Thanks dad for commenting on my blog. Your input is always appreciated.

   Posted by Alexandre Brabant on 01/10 at 12:30 PM